you know who

She is the refrain
Before the resolution
Tension laden and captivating
The movement upon which the symphony hangs
Soft was her connotation
resolve flowed in her veins

Poor stranger
child ignorant to flame
dances near coals provoking
a woman whose mettle is tempered by pain

I do not speak of resilience
An act temporary and elastic
The word itself, weary, aged rubber band

She is formidable.

Granite peak carved by glacier
A sobering encounter
As if to remind one the question is not whether the mountain will sustain them
But rather if their feet will serve to summit
The trail, dusted by bee-laden flowers
As if only to reinforce that
honey is the sweet transmutation of competence.

Quercus suber

harvested
earth
my beloved reaper

strip me of myself
my wails will beg
for your intent
as you flense
my soulful incarnation
fleshy and ripe

stochastic restraint cackles at
my attempt to heal
informed
one will survive
devastatingly naked
where there is space for all

for this she understands
and all is forgiven

reservoir

to all of the boys
whose affection I tried to earn
through the pool of a chest cracked open

I am sorry
I tried to drown you
in a body I could not stomach a drink from

it is no wonder
you looked at my offered cup
skeptical
at the dryness of my lips

both of us left wanting
of fecund valleys
promised by rivers above

For Chessie

if you were my daughter
Oh how we would have held hands
and taken long walks
on trails we didn’t know
and some we did
and I would have carried you
when your legs got tired
and even when they didn’t

if you were my daughter
I would leap to lift you
as you had leapt into me
and I would raise you
higher than I dreamed I could
inspired by your totality
eager to watch you realize what I had known
months before you knew knowing

if you were my daughter
I would listen for your soul’s cries
and how they echoed in me
and I would tune my body
to ensure that when you felt the resonance of your existence
you would hear

love

if you were my daughter
I would raise the earth on which you stood
for you to see beyond my mountains

if you were my daughter
I would sing of your virtue til heaven wept with pride
if only to water the seeds of your compassion
for the world to feast from your life

if you were my daughter
I would hold the planet at bay
In time, let you sample all of her parts
tasting some
devouring others
So that you could feel resolute in
that Socratic ignorance
and maybe even think to yourself
even with all our problems
what a glorious time to be alive

Lapidary

Into him I sank
pebble on river bottom
my descent, a precedent
of undoing reticence
Panic abraded
off granite stubborn mind
hands on skin like water
our cohesion divine

I fear
upon agate’s reveal
he will find no gem.
Lost, in prospect of my polish

Am I a wanting sapphire,
guarding my pavilion from your light?
Or rather,
are we two diamonds
turned against one another?
Unconditionally worthy
Life girdled by equivalence

St. Alprazolam

St. Alprazolam
I am here to worship
Your pressing of the seams of my skull
Every wrinkle suddenly in place
Every strain, washed from sorrow-stitched face

St. Alprazolam
California blazing anger
Clear cut and doused
Lit by loving gaslight, my golden grass
I love my mother, tiny pill crushed by glass

St. Alprazolam
Morning will come, Halcyon flown
I will loathe your silent synapse
My strength stolen, the damage my own
Battle of will conducted in pidgin
When anger speaks despair
I will lose my religion

St. Alprazolam
I give myself to you
Prostrated on Alhambra’s floors
Tessellate benzene solitude

B.D.E.

If only he knew
That if ever I was to kneel
it was to pray for a vessel
worthy of my pour

Caught in freedom’s trusses
His imagination
Suspends my disbelief
Strain springing internal
My most resilient edges
quake and undulate
commuting thoughts
frozen, by fault line’s shift

I will rise through his subduction
fear erupted, hope nestled in my core
smiling child bathed in ash
her toothy moon waxing for us all